5 Signs You’re Actually More Than A Good Mom

Five Signs You’re Actually More Than A Good Mom and How To See Yourself As The Best Mom Ever For Your Children- Without Their Praise!

There was a time when I craved my children’s recognition of my efforts, wanting them to tell me what a great job I was doing.

Have you ever felt like you weren't doing enough because you didn't receive admiration or appreciation from your children?

We tend to believe praise from our children is needed to be considered a good mom. 

In the beginning of healing from trauma while also raising my children, I questioned if doing the most for them was doing enough. It was hurtful when they couldn’t understand my adult choices. Still, I did the hard work to be a thriving mom, and for my children to see me as a good mom- even in the dark places. 

As moms of African descent, pretending we’re “good” while helping everyone else- regardless of what we’re going through- is the expected thing to do.

Have you ever felt alone or invisible doing this time after time for people who never have capacity to hold space for you? Especially when it comes to your own children?!

I’m here to help! Hello, I am Mrs. Monique Harris- Best Wife Ever to David Harris, and The Best Mom Ever™️ to three amazing children! Since I’m a dessert-first kind of lady, I’m getting straight to what you’re waiting for without fluff! The problem is that we all have different expectations of what’s considered “good”, and a "good mom".

So how do we truly know if we are a good mom doing a good job raising our children?

Here’s the simple answer:

We go to the Creator of moms and look at what God says “good” is. 

Let’s explore a bit, and see if you can identify 5 signs within these scriptures that you are good…

Psalms 37:21 Good people are kind and generous…

:23-29 The Lord shows us how we should live,

and he is pleased when he sees people living that way. 

If they stumble, they will not fall,

because the Lord reaches out to steady them.

I was young, and now I am old,

but I have never seen good people left with no one to help them;

I have never seen their children begging for food.

They are kind and generous,

and their children are a blessing.

Stop doing anything evil and do good,

and you will always have a place to live.

The Lord loves what is right,

and he will never leave his followers without help.

He will always protect them,

but he will destroy the families of the wicked.

Good people will get the land God promised

and will live on it forever…

:39-40 The Lord saves those who are good.

When they have troubles, he is their strength.

The Lord helps good people and rescues them.

They depend on him, so he rescues them from the wicked.

Matthew 12:35 Those who are good have good things saved in their hearts. That’s why they say good things.

Proverbs 13:22 It is good to have something to pass down to your grandchildren. But wealth hidden away by sinners will be given to those who live right.

Proverbs 12:2 Good people obtain favor from the Lord,

but he condemns those who devise wicked schemes.

And here’s where Jesus steps in…

Luke 18:19-20 Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? Only God is good. And you know his commands: ‘You must not commit adultery, you must not murder anyone, you must not steal, you must not tell lies about others, you must respect your father and mother ….’ 

:22 …You will have riches in heaven. Then come and follow me.”

So we can see that following Jesus puts us on the path of good. We are doing ourselves a disservice whenever we compare ourselves to others as the standard for what's considered good.

And if we’re honest with ourselves, we can admit our desire to be seen as a “good mom” is really us still striving to be The Perfect Mom.

This private pressure is what keeps nearly every mom who is indeed doing a good job- from feeling like she’s doing a good job!

Spoiler Alert: The Perfect Mom doesn’t exist. We both know this because- 

Spoiler Alert #2... We’re all imperfect people!

So I decided to show more appreciation and celebrate my children’s mom for her achievements and contributions, after realizing that she wanted her children to do it more often!

Here’s how I did it! And continue doing it today…

I learned how to free myself from longing for my children’s praise by finding fulfillment in God's approval, using my GIFTS, and celebrating myself as The Best Mom Ever! To culminate and celebrate my progress and growth, I planned and hosted an Award Ceremony for myself to honor my 38th birthday! My oldest son presented me with a Lifetime Achievement Award for being The Best Mom Ever! You can read about the inspiration and purpose of that Award and Ceremony here.

Try using these 5 GIFTS to start seeing yourself as The Best Mom Ever for your children- without their praise!

1. Glory of God: Dr. Myles Munroe (God rest his soul) explained, “All created things… are infused with their own unique glory -- given by the Creator, designed to be displayed.” This means your works and actions should show that you are like God. Affirm- I am the glory of God because I have His nature. I produce what He puts in me for His glory. What’s in your hands that you can share or deliver today?

2. Intimacy with Jesus: My intimate relationship with Jesus is the number one reason why I am who I am today, my life is favored and blessed, and my children have an inheritance! Like all relationships- you foster and develop it by consistently spending quality time together, communicating effectively with one another, and intentionally building it together. Have you prayed today?

3. Fun with Family and Friends: Your loved ones can be excellent outlets for safe wholesome fun! With these people, you’ll be amazed at how the smallest things (like a silly selfie together) can be enjoyed to the fullest! What’s something you enjoy doing that you can invite a loved one to join in with you?

4. Truth in God’s Word: Only God speaks truth at all times. Thus, you can believe what He says, when and how He says it- especially since He left it in the Holy Bible for you to read at any moment! There’s always something new you will discover or more that will be revealed to you by studying His Word. When can you devote five minutes today to do this?

5. Support System: A strong resource network for you and your children makes a big difference. The deeper and wider your support system, the more love you can give and receive! An important thing to note about support systems is they work best when you use them! And for the most part, the people in your support system want to be used! That’s why they are there. Who can you call today or this week and ask for help or more support?

Get The Manual that speaks directly to your heart, offering practical steps and spiritual insights to overcome the unique challenges of motherhood on http://themanualformothering.com